I'm a tranvetit
Today practis was caceled again, Today I hang around with Jemy again and today he was kissing me in a desgusting way again... Well, all I can say is that I really need love...From Steve and no-one else, but I think Jemy was the best I could do for the moment. Today I got soooo irritaded on him "No, don't cut your hair", "Don't you like this high-heels-shoes?" and "I want to eat you" and then he said women can not "eat". So basicly what he said was that a guy is f*cking and a woman is being f*cked. Well, then fuck him! Idiot! He's not getting me in bed with all off that crap of his!
Well, I don't want to be a girl anymore. I'm wondering if I should switch gender. But I really don't like surgerys so I guess that won't happend. But I really wish that I was born as a guy. I wanna look like a guy, I wanna be like a guy! I wanna swich name and I want people to call me "He"... I wanna be a guy! I hate being a girl! Maybe I should switch contry and start over as a male? I wanna be a Bboy not a f*cking Bgirl.. I wanna have muscles and I don't wanna have a possibility to get pregnant. I wanna have the social respect that is given to you just by being a guy. I wanna be the one who are f*cking and not the one who are being f*cked.. I wanna cut my nails, I wanna cut my hair, I wanna let my hair on my legs grow and I wanna have a dark voice...
I feel like the woman in "Beautiful Boxer", my favourite movie..
I don't wanna be in the category "Woman". Two days ago Me, Cam, Kalle and Winnie made a music-video to "Shivoy" and they splitted us up: Me and Winnie. Kalle and Cam...
I really didn't like that... I don't feel like a woman. I didn't choose to become a woman!! I wanted to be with the guys. And they gave the acrobatic stuff to them! I'm so pissed off right now..and I'm sad :/
I feel so bad in this long hair that I got right now... Now everyone has stopped complaining about my hair and says that it beautiful and stuff witch makes me so sad. I wish that they could tell me like "It's time to cut your hair now, don't you think?" just like if I was a guy.. I wanna be a man...
But I'm still straight and want guys to like me.. And most guys want feminin girls. This all started when I got together with Steve. I just got insecure about myself and didn't want to risk him not to like me... I know that if I do this: Make myself look like a guy and just be myself, I would loose many guys interest. And Cam is one of them.. Once he told me that I "wasn't his type" cuz I was going to get a mohook (a hairstyle) but I knew exactly what he meant. Why else wouldn't he like me? I'm like one of his best friends and It can't be by the age-differens cuz to be honest his ex Samar wasn't so much older than me.. So he just doesn't find me attractiv.. And I don't need to wonder why...
This is so sad. Whatever I choose to do.. It's gonna be painfull...
Well, I don't want to be a girl anymore. I'm wondering if I should switch gender. But I really don't like surgerys so I guess that won't happend. But I really wish that I was born as a guy. I wanna look like a guy, I wanna be like a guy! I wanna swich name and I want people to call me "He"... I wanna be a guy! I hate being a girl! Maybe I should switch contry and start over as a male? I wanna be a Bboy not a f*cking Bgirl.. I wanna have muscles and I don't wanna have a possibility to get pregnant. I wanna have the social respect that is given to you just by being a guy. I wanna be the one who are f*cking and not the one who are being f*cked.. I wanna cut my nails, I wanna cut my hair, I wanna let my hair on my legs grow and I wanna have a dark voice...
I feel like the woman in "Beautiful Boxer", my favourite movie..
I don't wanna be in the category "Woman". Two days ago Me, Cam, Kalle and Winnie made a music-video to "Shivoy" and they splitted us up: Me and Winnie. Kalle and Cam...
I really didn't like that... I don't feel like a woman. I didn't choose to become a woman!! I wanted to be with the guys. And they gave the acrobatic stuff to them! I'm so pissed off right now..and I'm sad :/
I feel so bad in this long hair that I got right now... Now everyone has stopped complaining about my hair and says that it beautiful and stuff witch makes me so sad. I wish that they could tell me like "It's time to cut your hair now, don't you think?" just like if I was a guy.. I wanna be a man...
But I'm still straight and want guys to like me.. And most guys want feminin girls. This all started when I got together with Steve. I just got insecure about myself and didn't want to risk him not to like me... I know that if I do this: Make myself look like a guy and just be myself, I would loose many guys interest. And Cam is one of them.. Once he told me that I "wasn't his type" cuz I was going to get a mohook (a hairstyle) but I knew exactly what he meant. Why else wouldn't he like me? I'm like one of his best friends and It can't be by the age-differens cuz to be honest his ex Samar wasn't so much older than me.. So he just doesn't find me attractiv.. And I don't need to wonder why...
This is so sad. Whatever I choose to do.. It's gonna be painfull...
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